Kiss-Up, Kick-Down
One-liner: Charming upward, cruel downward, the boss and the subordinate experience two different people.
Also known as / related terms: KUKD, ingratiatory-exploitative behavior, upward ingratiation / downward exploitation, “managing up while stepping on down.”
What it is: Kiss-Up-Kick-Down (KUKD) is a formally studied behavioral pattern, most comprehensively investigated by Niels Van Quaquebeke and Fabiola Gerpott (Journal of Management Studies, 2023) using conservation-of-resources theory: middle managers under pressure to prove themselves upward use ingratiating behavior toward superiors, flattery, opinion conformity, favor-rendering, favorable self-presentation, while simultaneously using exploitative or harsh behavior toward subordinates, whose goodwill and effort are treated as an expendable resource. The pattern is described as contingent and strategic rather than simply “having a bad temper”, the same person calibrates warmth or coldness based on where power sits relative to them in the moment. Research on ingratiation separately shows upward ingratiation is often rewarded, with better performance ratings, trust, and career advancement, which is part of why the pattern persists and can be misread by leadership as “a great manager” long after subordinates already know otherwise.
What it looks like (workplace): A manager is warm, deferential, and quick with praise in front of senior leadership, consistently agreeing with their framing and taking credit for team output in polished updates. In one-on-ones with direct reports, the same manager is curt, dismissive of concerns, quick to blame individuals for team-level failures, and unavailable for support, with no overlap between the two personas ever witnessed by the people who could act on it.
What it looks like, part two: Because senior leadership only ever sees the polished, ingratiating version, complaints from subordinates read as inconsistent with “the person we know”, which is precisely the credibility gap the pattern is built to exploit.
Why they do it: It’s a resource-conserving career strategy, currying favor upward pays off in advancement and protection, while downward harshness costs nothing (subordinates have less power to retaliate or be believed), at least until the pattern becomes visible or turnover reveals it.
How to protect yourself:
- Document specific downward behavior in neutral, factual language (dates, quotes, decisions) rather than characterizations, “difficult” doesn’t hold up; “reassigned my project to X in a meeting I wasn’t invited to, on [date]” does.
- Find peers experiencing the same pattern, KUKD relies on isolation; a single account is easy to dismiss as personality friction, multiple independent accounts are harder to wave away.
- Where possible, create visibility upward yourself, CC context-appropriate stakeholders on decisions, keep your own paper trail of contributions, so credit isn’t solely mediated through the manager’s narrative.
- Understand the research finding that this strategy erodes over time, the tactic has a shelf life; skilled leaders and peers do eventually notice, which does not mean you should wait it out, but it does mean the discrepancy is a known, documented pattern and not a personal failure to be believed.
Cross-links: Backhanded Framing / Micropositioning; Emotional Trap Setting; Weaponized Networking & Visibility Theater.
Sources:
- Journal of Management Studies, Gerpott & Van Quaquebeke: “Kiss-Up-Kick-Down to Get Ahead” (2023), the core peer-reviewed study defining and empirically testing the KUKD construct.
- SHRM: “What Drives ‘Kiss Up, Kick Down’ Managers?”, HR-practitioner synthesis of the research and organizational implications.
- WHU/Kellogg: “When Managers ‘Kiss Up and Kick Down’”, accessible summary including the “shelf life” / diminishing-returns finding.
Label note: Established research concept. KUKD is a named, peer-reviewed academic construct with a specific theoretical basis (conservation of resources theory), not a folk term.