Weapons & Tactics
Interpersonal manipulation moves, patterns that resemble documented psychological dynamics, described here to be named and recognized, not to diagnose any specific person.
A note on labels: none of these terms are diagnoses. A pattern that is "consistent with" gaslighting or DARVO describes a repeated behavioral dynamic, it is not a certification of any individual's character or clinical status. Naming the pattern is a tool for clarity, not a verdict on a person.
21 entries in this category.
Gaslighting
Manipulating someone into doubting their own perceptions, memory, or sanity.
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DARVO
Deny the act, attack the accuser, then reverse who looks like the victim.
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Future Faking
Painting a vivid shared future you'll never build, to buy present-day compliance.
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Weaponized Incompetence
Performing a task badly on purpose so someone else takes it over permanently.
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Baiting
Provoking a reaction on purpose, then using that reaction against you publicly.
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Covert Digs / "Dog Whistling"
A remark that reads as innocent to everyone except the one person it's aimed at.
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Stonewalling
Shutting down and refusing to engage, used as a weapon rather than a break.
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Hoovering
Pulling a person back in right when they're about to leave for good.
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Moving the Goalposts
Changing the criteria for success right after you meet the old ones.
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Workplace Incivility
Low-intensity rudeness with ambiguous intent, small enough to shrug off any single time, corrosive because it repeats and can spiral into worse conflict.
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False Accusation
Being blamed for something you didn't do, used up front to discredit you before you've said a word, not as a defense after being caught.
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Love Bombing
Excessive, over-the-top praise, attention, or opportunity handed to someone early in a working relationship, used to build fast trust and dependency before the dynamic flips.
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Intermittent Reinforcement
An unpredictable mix of praise and punishment, with no clear pattern connecting behavior to outcome, that keeps a target anxious and working harder for approval.
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Guilt-Tripping
Manufacturing shame or obligation, rather than provoking a reaction, to pressure a target into compliance.
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Reframing
The same event, criticism, or failure gets repainted in a different frame, so what actually happened stops being the thing anyone reacts to.
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Labeling
Call someone "dramatic" or "difficult" often enough, and they start managing themselves around the label instead of the facts.
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Dry Begging / Weaponized Self-Pity
When faced with legitimate criticism, the person responds with exaggerated self-pity or martyrdom until the critic feels guilty enough to comfort them and take the feedback back.
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Public Shaming (in Meetings)
Criticizing or humiliating someone in front of the group instead of privately, so the point is the audience, not the feedback.
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Manufactured Urgency
Framing routine work as an emergency, or inventing an artificial deadline, to shut down deliberation and push people to comply faster than they otherwise would.
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The Idealize, Devalue, Discard Cycle
A three-phase relational pattern, excessive praise, then withdrawal and criticism, then abrupt abandonment or replacement, that keeps a target chasing the return of phase one.
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Emotional Trap Setting
Provoke a reaction, then use that reaction as "evidence" that you are the unstable one.
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